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Bug Less
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3,754 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Little turkey Humor :lol:
THANKSGIVING . . .

WHEN I WAS A YOUNG TURKEY,
NEW TO THE COOP,
MY BIG BROTHER MIKE,
TOOK ME OUT ON THE STOOP.

THEN HE SAT ME DOWN,
AND HE SPOKE REAL SLOW,
AND HE TOLD ME THERE WAS SOMETHING
THAT I HAD TO KNOW.

HIS LOOK AND HIS TONE,
I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER,
WHEN HE TOLD ME OF THE HORRORS,
OF.......BLACK NOVEMBER!

COME ABOUT AUGUST,
NOW LISTEN TO ME,
EACH DAY YOU'LL GET SIX MEALS,
INSTEAD OF JUST THREE!

AND THEN ONE MORNING,
WHEN YOU'RE WARM IN YOUR BED,
IN'LL BURST THE FARMERS WIFE,
AND HACK OFF YOUR HEAD!

THEN SHE'LL PLUCK OUT ALL YOUR FEATHERS,
SO YOU'RE BALD AND PINK,
AND SCOOP OUT ALL YOUR INSIDES,
AND LEAVE YA LYIN' IN THE SINK!

AND THEN COMES THE WORST PART,
HE SAID NOT BLUFFING,
SHE'LL SPREAD YOUR CHEEKS,
AND PACK YOUR REAR WITH STUFFING!

WELL THE REST OF HIS WORDS,
WHERE TOO GRIM TO REPEAT.
I SAT ON THE STOOP,
LIKE A WINGED PIECE OF MEAT!

AND I DECIDED ON THE SPOT,
THAT TO AVOID BEING COOKED,
I'D HAVE TO LAY LOW,
AND REMAIN OVERLOOKED!

I BEGAN A NEW DIET,
OF NUTS AND GRANOLA,
HIGH-ROUGHAGE SALADS,
JUICE AND DIET COLA!

AND AS THEY ATE PASTRIES,
CHOCOLATES AND CREPES,
I STAYED IN MY ROOM,
DOING JANE FONDA TAPES!

I MAINTAINED MY WEIGHT,
OF TWO POUNDS AND A HALF,
AND TRIED NOT TO NOTICE,
WHEN THE BIGGER BIRDS LAUGHED!
BUT 'TWAS I WHO WAS LAUGHING,
UNDER MY BREATH,
THEY CHOMPED AND THEY CHEWED,
EVER CLOSER TO DEATH.

AND SURE ENOUGH,
WHEN BLACK NOVEMBER ROLLED AROUND,
I WAS THE LAST TURKEY,
LEFT IN THE ENTIRE COMPOUND!

SO NOW I'M A PET,
IN THE FARMER'S WIFE'S LAP,
I HAVEN'T A WORRY,
SO I EAT AND I NAP.

SHE HELD ME TODAY,
WHILE SEWING AND HUMMING,
AND SMILED AT ME AND SAID,
CHRISTMAS IS COMING.......
 

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Good-bye Curby...
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8,727 Posts
awww, that kinda makes me sad!

if i think about it too much, i swear, i could be vegetarian. i try not to think about all the innocents animals that die for our meals. i love meat and all, but sometimes, it makes me sad...

sorry, i know that wasn't your intent. :(
 

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Your mileage may vary
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7,566 Posts
callisto9 said:
awww, that kinda makes me sad!

if i think about it too much, i swear, i could be vegetarian. i try not to think about all the innocents animals that die for our meals. i love meat and all, but sometimes, it makes me sad...

sorry, i know that wasn't your intent. :(
I know what you mean, but I don't think of animals as innocent. They just do what they do.

I've never liked the concept of "good" animals (like, say, a panda) and bad animals (like a jackal).

One of my favorite fantasies is the ability to converse with animals. Even though most of the time, I believe they're thinking, "Food." "Mate." "Poop."

Come to think of it, that's probably what we humans think too. :)
 

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Good-bye Curby...
Joined
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8,727 Posts
Alan From NYC said:
I know what you mean, but I don't think of animals as innocent. They just do what they do.

I've never liked the concept of "good" animals (like, say, a panda) and bad animals (like a jackal).

One of my favorite fantasies is the ability to converse with animals. Even though most of the time, I believe they're thinking, "Food." "Mate." "Poop."

Come to think of it, that's probably what we humans think too. :)
agreed. food, mate, poop! that about sums it up for me! i don't see some animals as being better than others, either. however, when i think about what they do to some of those poor creatures in order to get them ready for eatin'...it just grosses me out. best not to think about it too much, i guess. :(
 
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