1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2. A hawk sat atop a church because it was a bird of pray.
3. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
4. He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
5. The two guys caught drinking battery acid will soon be charged.
6. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
7. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
8. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
9. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
10. On the shelf there are ten math books, five geography books, and the rest is history.
A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p. m. One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!" "No, I'm sorry", replied the bartender, "it's a hickory daiquiri, doc."
Both of these pertain to living in Wisconsin:
The classic "month poem" has officially been changed in Wisconsin to the following:
Thirty days have September, June, and November. All the rest have thirty-one, except January, which has a hundred and twenty.
What do people in Wisconsin do in...